A catch up

Well, I've done a terrible job keeping up with my blog, It's been a result of being crazy busy, getting sick, and, well, being busy.

We started evangelizing last Thursday, I'm with 8 others on Hitotsubayashi's campus. Wow. Just wow. It was in incredible day of God humbling me and my team and forcing us to focus on him.

I think the best way that I can summarize this is with my journal entry for that day:

-On the train back
I feel like I've reached my saturation point. God is doing something with m. He's definiitely humbling me severely. Nothing that I have is enough My wits, my language, my heart, my knowledge. All of it is useless. I feel like I have neither the heart for Jesus or the heart for these people that I need to be effective This is the first time I've tried sharing my faith as I should, It's the first tme in 5 years.  I've never cared enuogh for anyone but myself to share salvation.My pride is incredible, I've learned some, but I never realized how much sin is in my life. And this is just pride.Why does the only thing that maters feel so unimportant to me? (jesus/gospel)I have so much head knowledge Jesus. So much. I need you to make it heart knowledge. I'm not seing you, Jesus I need you right now, you know all my faults and still Love me. You want all my burden, all my sin, my shame. You want my fear, my guilt and you want to bear it. I don't want to give it, I don't want to be helpless. Yet you sit there, saying nothing, but your eyes show your heart pouring out for me. That if you could just hold it (my burden) I would be well. But my fighting hurts you more thn the sin ever would.That your own love, your bride to be looks broad for help, that I say you're not enough. (end train ride)
Jesus Help Me (end entry)

God took away every prop holding me up until he was the only thing sustaining me. You feel like you're holding onto nothing, there's nothing left, just a thin pole you're hanging onto keeping you from certain doom, until you realize you're actually tightly strapped onto Jesus. All those things you thought were supporting you were actually keeping you from moving.

It's like being a bird with yourself encased in a cast. You're "safe" but the reality is you're falling like a rock. Jesus has been breaking that cast off, and although it's a frightening thing, I'm becoming free enough to start flying.

Friday however was another story completely. Once it became about Jesus and his glory, all of a sudden people opened up! The spirit lead and we had a lot of good conversations. There was even two guys that I talked to (Rintaro and Kei) that were really open and almost excited to hear what we had to say. I even gave Rintaro my Japanese English bible. The excitement on his face was indescribable, and it's probably that look of excitement that I'll never forget. We treat the bible as nothing, but it might as well have been gold for him.


So much going on here, and Jesus is really working. Please pray! we need every bit of it, and these students need him so much. This may be the only chance they have of hearing the gospel, and pray that it sticks with them hounding them down until they rest in Christ!